Wow, it's 3 am Saturday morning and I am sober and tired but I cannot step away from the computer. I have to be up in a mere 3 hours to go to work and I cannot sleep. I should really write a detailed update but I feel way too frenetic and spastic to do it. I'll just sit here and type nonsense to tell you that I have been feeling kindof down lately. It affects my relationship and my eating habits. I have the feeling that maybe if I eat healthier I might feel a little better. If not physically then maybe physiolgically. BUT... My car is broken, and there isn't a dang grocery store around my house. I refuse to shop for food at a convenience store and the dollar store doesn't have produce. I ususally have a few moments to stop at the store before I head to work, but since I am going to work and they don't provide a blasted refrigerator at work I can't exactly shop and take it with me. So, I get snacks for the night at work. And instead of grabbing some fresh fruit or granola bars or even rice cakes I buy soda and crackers and combos and doritos. Of course the soda I buy is sugar free and calorie free and has massive amounts of caffiene so it makes me happy but then I come home and crash. Gah. Endless vicious cycle.
I'm manic depressive yet even in my downward slides insomnia plagues me. Of course it doesn't help that my little family is a little strapped in the finances department even though I went back to work and so my hunny and I have been fighting and not spending any QUALITY time with each other. We had an interesting disagreement tonight, and I'm not even sure what caused it. Hence, the not sleeping. However, I know that I'll fall asleep at work tomorrow if I don't force myself to go to bed, so I am going to head off to bed and hope for some kind of resolution tomorrow. Or at the very least some chocolate.